Week 2

Week 2 has been much nicer than the first week...much of that is because I only got Taxol this week, rather than the two medications.  I only got really nauseous once and, while I'm still quite tired and taking lots of naps, the fatigue isn't as bone deep as it was last week.  I did have one day of extreme soreness in all of my muscles.  I felt like my body was one big bruise and it hurt to touch anywhere. That is one side effect of the Taxol and it mostly disappeared after one day.

For those that have requested, here is a picture of my port.  It is just under my skin, under the collarbone of the left shoulder.  You'll see that there are three raised dots.  When I receive my infusions, the needle is placed in the middle of those raised dots. This makes the infusion a simple process and allows the medications to go straight into one of my veins.





I went to a support group meeting today with my girls and it was a fun time.  One of the things they talked about was our "worry box."  The gist is that each of us has our own worry box that we carry around.  The size of the box is different for each of us, but the size does tend to stay the same once we've got a box...some have large boxes because they tend to worry a lot.  Others have smaller boxes.  As we get more worries, some worries will be kicked out of the box to make room for more important worries. Those worries may come back at any time, as the type of worries in each box tend to come and go.

We were asked to think of our own worry boxes.  What color are they? What size?  What is in our worry boxes?  My girls got really into this activity and it was interesting to see what is in their worry boxes.  One worry they both shared: we have a stray cat that has decided to make a home with us. Both girls are worried that they might not be able to find its owner.  They are both also worried about cancer.  They worry about Mom having cancer.  They worry that Dad might get it.  Savanna was worried that our insurance would run out.  It gave us some good things to talk about.

The kids have been hearing me talk about cancer genes.  My doctors recommended that I work with a genetic counselor to be tested for the BRCA gene and any other genes that might have caused my cancer.  They felt that my risk for having a genetic abnormality was high simply because I'm so young to have Ovarian Cancer.

As we were waiting to get my results, I had an interesting conversation with my oldest daughter.  She was concerned that she might get cancer right now if she had the gene.  She also had several questions about what it would mean if I had any cancer genes.  I was very open with her and told her that I had already had most of the surgery I would need to do if I had the BRCA gene, since I recently had a hysterectomy.  I told her all I would need to do next is remove my breasts and get new ones. I told her that if she had the same gene, she would eventually want to think about having similar surgeries to reduce her risk.  However, she could wait until she was older and after she had her own kids before having these surgeries.  She thought about it for a minute, then told me that she would adopt kids and not have kids of her own because she didn't want to pass the cancer gene on to her kids.  She later told another adult that she might have a cancer gene and that she would be cutting off her breasts soon.  However, she would not get new ones right now because she thought she would look silly with adult boobs as a 10-yr-old! Poor thing.

I got my results of the genetic testing a few days ago and I'm happy to report that I don't have any genetic abnormalities that contributed to getting cancer.  While I wouldn't have minded getting a breast upgrade, it's such a relief to know that my kids and siblings aren't at an increased risk.  My daughter was relieved to know that she is in the clear.  Even my son had been really worried about it and was so happy to hear that I wouldn't be passing any awful genes on to him!

I feel that these past few weeks have been weeks of learning for me.  I'm learning to adjust my expectations.  My body is so different right now and I imagine it will keep changing.  Even when I feel good, I am weak and tire easily.  This frustrates me at times and I am learning to be ok with a new normal. I am learning to be open to what each day brings.  This means that I have to be more flexible, which is hard for me sometimes!

I continue to be amazed at the goodness of the people around me and with the resources available to me. How lucky am I to have cancer now, as opposed to even a few years ago! My youngest daughter told me just the other day that we are a lucky family.  I asked her why she thought we were so lucky. She said, "We're lucky that we have food to eat.  We're lucky that we are healthy.  We have good friends.  We have a great house.  We live in a beautiful earth.  We are really lucky to be alive." I agree.

Comments

AmyShane said…
Love hearing these tender thoughts from you Corene. I'm grateful you've got your family by your side and being a child of a mother who had a lot of health complications (cancer included), I think it's really good that you are being open and giving solid explanations for everything.
Julie Thompson said…
I think this blog is an awesome thing for you to do not only for passing along information but also for yourself. I think documenting this journey you are on will be a good thing for you. Writing as close to the moment that events take place will capture the essence of how you felt in that moment vs writing later when you have had time to reflect on these events. You could let your kids write on it as well.
Unknown said…
And... we are lucky to be inspired by you! Thanks for sharing your story and being the amazing woman, mother, peer and inspiration.
Unknown said…
Loved reading this Corene. Its really neat in a way to see how everyone in the family had their own thoughts/worries/questions but you guys come together amd have so much love. How awesome. Thinking of you guys and cant wait to introduce the kids to their new cousin come July!
Chandra Hedman said…
You are such a great mom, Corene. You kids are lucky to have you. Sorry you don't get to have a boob job ;-)
Anonymous said…
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