Half Way Through!
I'm remembering why I don't keep a blog....I'm horrible at updating it! I do have some things to catch up on, though.
First things first...I just finished my 9th Chemotherapy treatment, which means I only have 9 more to go. Half-way through! I celebrated by coming home and taking a 2.5 hour nap. I've never been able to do that right after Chemo because the steroids keep me so hopped up that I can't stop moving my legs to sleep. Today was my lucky day.
The first couple of weeks of Chemo were the hardest. I was quite nauseous the first week (although several nausea pills kept me from throwing up) and developed mouth sores - two common side effects. The nausea and mouth sores eased up the next few weeks, but I was extremely tired, shaky, dizzy, and weak. I would try to accomplish something around the house and would find that I would tire very quickly, which was frustrating for me.
As the weeks have gone by, I have found that it has gotten easier and easier for me. The first week of each cycle is the hardest, as I get 2 chemo medications. I'm the most tired that week. But the rest of the weeks are quite easy at this point. I feel good and I don't tire as quickly. What a blessing!
I have found that the biggest challenge for me at this point is that I have to force myself to rest and relax. The Taxol that I take weekly is causing my heart rate to stay higher than normal. I was really excited the first week I started feeling really good and challenged myself to exercise as much as possible. I have lost so much muscle - from the chemo, reduced activity, and not eating for 6 days after surgery - that I really wanted to build my strength and endurance as much as possible. I tried running, but quickly found that I have not healed from surgery enough to do that. I tried doing planks, leg lifts, and push ups, but injured something in my abdomen to the point that it hurt to breath for 3 weeks! No go there. So I decided to walk as much as possible. I walked 4 miles every morning, walked the kids to and from school each day, and looked for small opportunities to walk anywhere I could. I found that I could easily get my heart rate up to 130-150 bpm just from walking and I was getting between 12000-15000 steps per day. I was so happy about this and considered it a Chemo win. My energy remained high and life was good. Then I got my blood work at my next Chemo treatment and found that my white blood cells had tanked. I asked if this could be a result of the extra activity and was referred to a Cancer Rehab program.
What a cool place! They put heart rate monitors on me and watched my heart rate as they guided me through several cardio exercises. At the end of the session, I was given the following recommendation: keep exercise within the target heart rate of 90-110 bpm for 30 minutes a day. At first I didn't understand and asked if that meant 30 minutes at one time...meaning that I could do 30 minute increments 2 or 3 times per day. He looked at me like I was crazy and said, "No. You get a total of 30 minutes. While on chemo, if you exercise too much you will divert the energy you need to heal to exercise. It's one or the other. You can exercise, or you can heal. Your priority is to get rid of the cancer."
Since my heart rate rises over 90 simply by standing, my exercise is mostly limited to getting things done around the house. I have to constantly remind myself what my limits are and respect them. But I have found a new Chemo-win...I get to read. A lot. And nap. A lot. The icing on the cake is that I don't have to feel any guilt about it!
The question I get asked the most is: "What is happening with your hair? Is it gone yet?" I'm happy to say that I still have hair. It's super thin and I have to wear scarves and hats to make it look better, but it's nice to have a little hair peeking under the scarf/hat. While I was prepare to lose it all...and eventually I think I will...it's been nice to have it for so long. A bald head seems to be the big "cancer flag." No one knows I'm sick as long as I have hair. While it's easy for me to talk about, it's nice that I don't HAVE to and having hair is the kicker to that!
I started losing my hair right at the 2 week mark, which I expected. I lost a ton, but still had a lot left. One of the blessings of starting with a ton of hair! After a while, my head got too sensitive and painful to keep it long, so I pulled it in a high pony tail and cut a chunk off. This lightened the load, but resulted in two major layers...one short and one long. It looked a bit funky, so I asked Keira, my 10-yr-old, to cut off the long layer. She was way too excited to comply and happily hacked away. It was pretty uneven, but fun. I straightened it out a bit, but didn't worry about it because I figured we'd be cutting it again soon, anyway. I ended up keeping it for 3 or 4 weeks. Here are some pics of my hair after Keira cut it:
Wearing it curly under a hat.
I'm putting my pride aside here to show how much thinning I have if I wear it in a pony tail or leave it down. I find that straightening hides the thinning the most, but it's still pretty thin.
We went to several grave sites for Memorial Day. This is a picture of the kid's putting a memorial on their Dad's uncle's grave. His name is J Grant Snow and he died in WW2 on a submarine. Thanks to Grandma Snow and Aunt Jonell for coming with us making it a special day!
Bowling at Fat Cats! It was a close game, but Ryder finished strong and won the game. I was relegated to picture-taking, or I'm sure there would have been a different outcome!
First things first...I just finished my 9th Chemotherapy treatment, which means I only have 9 more to go. Half-way through! I celebrated by coming home and taking a 2.5 hour nap. I've never been able to do that right after Chemo because the steroids keep me so hopped up that I can't stop moving my legs to sleep. Today was my lucky day.
The first couple of weeks of Chemo were the hardest. I was quite nauseous the first week (although several nausea pills kept me from throwing up) and developed mouth sores - two common side effects. The nausea and mouth sores eased up the next few weeks, but I was extremely tired, shaky, dizzy, and weak. I would try to accomplish something around the house and would find that I would tire very quickly, which was frustrating for me.
As the weeks have gone by, I have found that it has gotten easier and easier for me. The first week of each cycle is the hardest, as I get 2 chemo medications. I'm the most tired that week. But the rest of the weeks are quite easy at this point. I feel good and I don't tire as quickly. What a blessing!
I have found that the biggest challenge for me at this point is that I have to force myself to rest and relax. The Taxol that I take weekly is causing my heart rate to stay higher than normal. I was really excited the first week I started feeling really good and challenged myself to exercise as much as possible. I have lost so much muscle - from the chemo, reduced activity, and not eating for 6 days after surgery - that I really wanted to build my strength and endurance as much as possible. I tried running, but quickly found that I have not healed from surgery enough to do that. I tried doing planks, leg lifts, and push ups, but injured something in my abdomen to the point that it hurt to breath for 3 weeks! No go there. So I decided to walk as much as possible. I walked 4 miles every morning, walked the kids to and from school each day, and looked for small opportunities to walk anywhere I could. I found that I could easily get my heart rate up to 130-150 bpm just from walking and I was getting between 12000-15000 steps per day. I was so happy about this and considered it a Chemo win. My energy remained high and life was good. Then I got my blood work at my next Chemo treatment and found that my white blood cells had tanked. I asked if this could be a result of the extra activity and was referred to a Cancer Rehab program.
What a cool place! They put heart rate monitors on me and watched my heart rate as they guided me through several cardio exercises. At the end of the session, I was given the following recommendation: keep exercise within the target heart rate of 90-110 bpm for 30 minutes a day. At first I didn't understand and asked if that meant 30 minutes at one time...meaning that I could do 30 minute increments 2 or 3 times per day. He looked at me like I was crazy and said, "No. You get a total of 30 minutes. While on chemo, if you exercise too much you will divert the energy you need to heal to exercise. It's one or the other. You can exercise, or you can heal. Your priority is to get rid of the cancer."
Since my heart rate rises over 90 simply by standing, my exercise is mostly limited to getting things done around the house. I have to constantly remind myself what my limits are and respect them. But I have found a new Chemo-win...I get to read. A lot. And nap. A lot. The icing on the cake is that I don't have to feel any guilt about it!
The question I get asked the most is: "What is happening with your hair? Is it gone yet?" I'm happy to say that I still have hair. It's super thin and I have to wear scarves and hats to make it look better, but it's nice to have a little hair peeking under the scarf/hat. While I was prepare to lose it all...and eventually I think I will...it's been nice to have it for so long. A bald head seems to be the big "cancer flag." No one knows I'm sick as long as I have hair. While it's easy for me to talk about, it's nice that I don't HAVE to and having hair is the kicker to that!
I started losing my hair right at the 2 week mark, which I expected. I lost a ton, but still had a lot left. One of the blessings of starting with a ton of hair! After a while, my head got too sensitive and painful to keep it long, so I pulled it in a high pony tail and cut a chunk off. This lightened the load, but resulted in two major layers...one short and one long. It looked a bit funky, so I asked Keira, my 10-yr-old, to cut off the long layer. She was way too excited to comply and happily hacked away. It was pretty uneven, but fun. I straightened it out a bit, but didn't worry about it because I figured we'd be cutting it again soon, anyway. I ended up keeping it for 3 or 4 weeks. Here are some pics of my hair after Keira cut it:
Straight under a hat. Even though it's thin, I felt it was enough hair to look decent under a hat or scarf, so I decided to keep it rather than shave it. After last weeks Chemo treatment, I lost enough that it got even thinner. Since I had another treatment scheduled for today and knew I'd be losing another decent chunk, I decided that I would have a professional cut it to see if it helped disguise the thinning a bit so that I could keep it a little longer. Here's a pic of my new do:
It's getting shorter! I was thinking of getting a pixie cut, but learned that I have a huge cowlick in the back that I thought was a bald spot. We decided to keep it as long as possible to cover it up. The sweet lady showed my how to blow dry and straighten it in a way to give me a little more volume and cover up the cowlick. We'll see if I can actually do it. If not, then we'll be back to scarves and hats!
The kids are still raring to cut and shave when I give them the green light. More pictures on that another time!
Speaking of the kids, read on for kid updates, if you'd like:
One goal I have is to make lots of good memories this summer so it's not just about the cancer. We have plans to camp in Colorado with the Goodman's, see Snows in California, see the Arches in Moab, discover who makes the best onion rings in Ogden, and do some fun Ogden activities.
Keira Updates:
Keira's last week of school ended with a little bit of drama. A boy at school has been crushing on her for a long time. He asked her to be his girlfriend a few weeks ago and she didn't know how to say "no" nicely, so she ended up saying something like, "I don't want to call it girlfriend and boyfriend, but we can kind of act like it. Then, maybe when we are older we can be girlfriend and boyfriend." The boy was so confused, but happily took that to mean that he could hold her hand and made a few attempts to kiss her. She finally had to "break up" with him, but did it by saying, "I just want to be friends right now. Maybe we can be boyfriend and girlfriend when we are older." Still a bit confusing for the poor guy. During the last week of school he said, "Keira, we only have a few days of school left. I want to get a kiss out of you before school ends. Will you meet me under the tree?"
The poor girl was terrified and came home asking if she could skip the last 3 days of school. We role played what to say all evening. She finally had it down. When he asked next, she was prepared to keep it nice and simple, "No thanks. I don't want to. I just want to be friends." It was super hard for her to role play it, but by the next morning she was ready. Luckily for her, she surrounded herself with friends and he didn't approach her for a couple of days. Then he was gone the last day. He's called several times this week asking to "hang out." We'll continue to work on how to clearly and nicely get out of that one! Roger is super excited that his daughter is already having boy problems!
Ryder Updates:
Ryder is super excited this week because he tried out for a comp soccer team and was accepted. I'm not sure how I feel about this whole thing. I'm really proud and happy for him. Yet I know this will be a big commitment, for him and for us! Still, I like to see him challenge himself and I'm excited to see how he progresses.
He is not interested in girls at all. Yeah!
Savanna Updates:
Savanna is very into tumbling and loves it. She will continue to do that this summer and I hope that she will push herself in her new class. She's my sassy kid, and is getting sassier. We'll work on that!
She's very matter of fact about boys right now. She'll come home and say, "So and so is in love with me." But it doesn't mean much to her. One cute boy gave her a special valentine a couple of months ago. I talked to his mom this week and she told me that he loves being partnered with Savanna in gym because they always win. This cracked me up because their little romance isn't a romance at all. Rather, they're both competitive and want to win! Savanna is very competitive and hates to lose at anything. She's a girl after my own heart. We're working on being a good sport.
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